McKinsey loved the tv show, The Golden Girls. Probably because of the great friendships it demonstrated between women just like her – strong, feisty, opinionated, and beautiful. And to McKinsey’s credit, this is exactly who she surrounded herself with. In every – EVERY – circle of her life, there were strong, feisty, opinionated, and beautiful women. Just look around this church today for proof. And like Rose, Blanche, Dorothy, and Sophia, we all have our own unique personalities. One year for Christmas, she gave us coffee mugs that say: “Live like Rose, dress like Blanche, think like Dorothy, speak like Sophia.”
Instead of us all living in the same house one day like the Golden Girls, we talked about getting houses beside one another on a cul-de-sac. That way, we could all see each other as often as we wanted, the guys could go golfing whenever they needed a break from us, and with the hope that at least one of us would have a swimming pool. We were even gonna pitch a tv show about us to Hollywood called, “The Real Housewives of York and Adams County.” Imagine those Nielson ratings, right?
McKinsey and I first met through Amanda over ten years ago. We connected over motorcycles that first evening, but the memories and our own version of the Golden Girls had only begun. Non-cookie cookie exchanges – because after the first year, we gave up on baking cookies to exchange. Friendsgivings – that’s Thanksgiving with your friends. And Fristmases – that’s Christmas with your friends. As you can tell, we liked to make up holidays simply so we could see each other.
The year Friendsgiving was at McKinsey and Mac’s, as we’re leaving, McKinsey says, “Take home whatever you want.” McKinsey meant the leftover food. Instead, here comes Amanda out of the kitchen carrying a bag of Tostito chips, a plant, and the coffee maker. If the dog could have fit in Amanda’s arms, Lady would have gone home with the Fairs that night. All McKinsey said in response was, “Just don’t take my ____ coffee grinder!” That’s because, like Mac, McKinsey loved great food. From her gourmet coffee at home to a gourmet meal in Italy. From a signature appetizer like fried olives to a signature drink like Woodford Reserve Old Fashioned served in an Applewood-smoked dome at Fratellis. She was a true foodie.
So many of the memories of our friends circle were made around Amanda’s dining room table during our Girls Nights In. We’d usually wind up with a quote of the night. Or if it was a particularly, uh, interesting evening, there were quotes of the hour. These dining room table gatherings were always filled with our raucous laughter and peppered with McKinsey’s distinct laugh you could hear across the crowded room, and of course those one hand claps of hers usually ending with a finger pointed at someone.
While the Girl’s Nights In were something to behold, the Girls Nights Out were also quite a sight. There were also bathroom selfies. Oh, the bathroom selfies. We’d all crowd into stalls in all the bars of Gettysburg, Hanover, Littlestown, and New Oxford, at Fells Point for a bachelorette party, and during Orioles games at Camden Yards. When the group of us would head out to the movies, we’d sit in the same row then point out to each other who we each were on screen (point) all while watching such cinematic masterpieces as Bad Moms, 50 Shades of Grey, and Magic Mike. You know, the Oscar-worthy films.
And oh my, the group chats amongst us. They were what we called, bookworthy. There was one in particular between McKinsey, Emily, Amanda, and unbeknownst to them, Emily’s mom, who happened to be on the ipad linked to Emily’s phone. As the chat conversation kept going, all Emily’s mom could see on the screen was phone numbers and the back and forth between the three of them. Finally Emily’s mom had enough and types, “I don’t know who this is or what is going on, but this language is inappropriate.”
If there was a pool on vacation, McKinsey was in it. A few years ago, we were staying at the Plim Plaza in Ocean City. At the pool with us were a group of college girls doing back flips in the water by hoisting each other up into the air. So of course Amanda and McKinsey thought they could do that too despite the liquid courage and the age difference. If you asked McKinsey and Amanda, they would say after about three tries, they pulled off a flip just as good as those college girls, but I have the video evidence which says otherwise.
Sitting around that infamous dining room table of Amanda’s earlier this week, she told a story about when McKinsey and her were at another pool – this one was at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. While the husbands were in a poker tournament, McKinsey and Amanda got a poolside daybed and a nice young man named Leo was their attendant. After a few hours, Mac comes back from playing poker and finds McKinsey and Amanda by the pool. Not knowing who Mac was, Leo strolls over to them and asks, “Ladies, is this guy bothering you?” (pause) Little did Leo know that McKinsey and Mac were the greatest of love stories. I would often ask her to tell the story about them meeting at a bar in Detroit and of how she knew instantly he would be her husband. In fact, I asked her to retell the story so often that at one point she turned to me and said, “You really like hearing this story, don’t you?”
Besides being good for a laugh, McKinsey gave good advice. No, make that great advice. You wanted to talk to her when you had a problem or something you were stewing over. She didn’t beat around the bush. Direct and honest. No matter if it was about motherhood. About marriage. About relationships. About life. McKinsey was, in a word, classic. She was a timeless beauty. Just like Marilyn Monroe who she almost shared a birthday with.
My faith has taught me that McKinsey has fulfilled her baptismal promise. But I also know that God is weeping with us today. I am a strong believer that God has a vision for each of us. Not a plan, but a vision. God’s vision for McKinsey was to be a strong and supportive wife to Mac. For her to be a loving and caring mother to Oliva. For her to be a wonderful daughter, granddaughter, and sister to her family. And for her to be the friend, coworker, co-conspirator, laugh inducer, swimming pool companion, and straight talker we knew her to be.
So, as we leave here today, I invite you to honor McKinsey and do as those mugs say – live like Rose, dress like Blanche, think like Dorothy, and speak like Sophia.
McKinsey, we thank YOU for being OUR friend.
musings by nicole 